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NPB Peoms

For Simon Davies

To be sung to the tune of Una Paloma Blanca in an accent like Tanya's...

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I am a cider drinker
Simon Davies by name
I am a cider drinker
Here are my main claims to fame
You won't believe
What I get up to

I like to argue with the Muppets
When I wind Jill up, Carole too
And I've become a demon puncher
Faster than Eileen, yes it's true

I am a cider drinker
And I've just reached twenty one
I am a cider drinker
You walk as fast as I run
Senor Speedy
Is what they call me

Saturday morning, time for coffee
Our second break time, Eileen's twelfth
"Wrong sandwich" Tony's on a knife-edge
He'll soon be running out of health

I am a cider drinker
Draught Scrumpy Jack all night long
I am a cider drinker
I can't stand up when I'm gone
(Luckily) Tony Morris
Can tell when I'm pissed

Well it's time for congratulations
Now you've got the key to the door
And to warn you if there's no cream buns
Life won't be worth living no more


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